This and That .....

Hello everyone,
I know it has been awhile. I apologize for this :) Well Celia is now 9 mths old ( whew how time flys ) She weighs 22.9 lbs and is 30 1/4 in. long. She has mastered crawling and is now trying to walk :) She has cut 6 teeth already and loves to use them. I have updated pics.
Shawn is a great big brother. He is now recording his own music ( poor me ) in hopes to have it published one day ;)
For Drakes 2nd heavenly birthday I made a chocolate cake and Celia loved it :) I still get teary eyed just thinking of him. Sometimes I feel so alone when I know I have this look on my face and someone asks "whats wrong ?" and I just reply "nothing im fine." I dont think I am fine at all. even after 2 yrs I struggle daily. I cry most nights after everyone has gone to bed. I look at Shawn and Celia and I am greatful and blessed to have them. I guess like any mother that has lost a child, I long to hold him and cuddle him. I think that this feeling will always be there and I guess most people will never get why it doesnt subside. There is a poem that best describes the way i feel....

"I Lost My Child Today"

I lost my child today.
People came to weep and cry
As I just sat and stared, dry eyed.
They struggled to find words to say
To try and make the pain go away.
I walked the floor in disbelief.
I lost my child today.

I lost my child last month.
Most of the people went away.
Some still call and some still stay.
I wait to wake up from this dream
This can't be real--I want to scream.
Yet everything is locked inside,
God, help me, I want to die.
I lost my child last month.

I lost my child last year.
Now people who had came, have gone.
I sit and struggle all day long,
To bear the pain so deep inside.
And now my friends just question, Why?
Why does this mother not move on?
Just sits and sings the same old song.
Good heavens, it has been so long.
I lost my child last year.

Time has not moved on for me.
The numbness it has disappeared.
My eyes have now cried many tears.
I see the look upon your face,
"She must move on and leave this place."
Yet I am trapped right here in time.
The songs the same, as is the rhyme,
I lost my child......Today.

~Netta Wilson
Well sorry to vent I felt like I had to get it out . There is alot more in here that needs to come out.

On another note ..... Amy and Abby Miles came for a visit in January and It was so nice to finally get to meet Amy in person. I felt like I have known her all of my life :) I cant wait untill we can get together again !

I will post pics soon :)